I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
