oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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