Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
