i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
