Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
