just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I need a beard to bite.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
