I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
