She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
