I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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