i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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