My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
