but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
