Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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