Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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