Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
