Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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