Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
