Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Randomize
