? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
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