I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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