in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Randomize
