she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Randomize
