in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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