Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
