I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
