that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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