dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
