Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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