at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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