Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
