we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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