I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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