i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
My vagina just recognized that song.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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