Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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