Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
