You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Randomize
