her vagina looked like bernie madoff
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
