and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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