I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
