She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I wish you could order shots online.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity�
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
