That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
