between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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