thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
