we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
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