remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
True strength comes from lack of pants
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
