what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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