:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
