You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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