she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
as a side note pls kill me
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
