I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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