He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
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